technomate
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- 15
DIVORCE LETTER !!
> > > >
> > > > Dear Wife:
> > > >
> > > > I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
> > I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
> > it.
> > > >
> > > > These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
> > you quit your job today and that was the last straw..
> > > >
> > > > Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
> > haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of
> > silk boxers.. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
> > watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't
> > want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
> > > >
> > > > Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the
> > case, I'm gone.
> > > >
> > > > Your EX-Husband
> > > >
> > > > P.S.
> > > > Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia
> > together! Have a great life!
> > > >
> > > > Dear Ex-Husband -
> > > >
> > > > Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
> > you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far
> > cry from what you've been.
> > > >
> > > > I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining
> > and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
> > > >
> > > > I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
> > came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not
> > to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
> > > >
> > > > And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused
> > with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
> > > >
> > > > About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the £49.99
> > price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
> > sister had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning.
> > > >
> > > > After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
> > So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought
> > us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything
> > happens for a reason, I guess.
> > > >
> > > > I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
> > that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take
> > care.
> > > >
> > > > Signed,
> > > >
> > > > Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
> > > >
> > > > P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
> > Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
> > > >
> > > > Dear Wife:
> > > >
> > > > I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
> > I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
> > it.
> > > >
> > > > These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
> > you quit your job today and that was the last straw..
> > > >
> > > > Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
> > haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of
> > silk boxers.. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
> > watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't
> > want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
> > > >
> > > > Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the
> > case, I'm gone.
> > > >
> > > > Your EX-Husband
> > > >
> > > > P.S.
> > > > Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia
> > together! Have a great life!
> > > >
> > > > Dear Ex-Husband -
> > > >
> > > > Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
> > you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far
> > cry from what you've been.
> > > >
> > > > I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining
> > and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
> > > >
> > > > I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
> > came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not
> > to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
> > > >
> > > > And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused
> > with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
> > > >
> > > > About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the £49.99
> > price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
> > sister had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning.
> > > >
> > > > After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
> > So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought
> > us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything
> > happens for a reason, I guess.
> > > >
> > > > I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
> > that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take
> > care.
> > > >
> > > > Signed,
> > > >
> > > > Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
> > > >
> > > > P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
> > Carl. I hope that's not a problem.