Things To Say When Stressed At Work

rooney

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159
1. Okay, okay! I take it back, Unf*ck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like its a bad thing.
3. Well this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do i look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with flourescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and sensless acts of self control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service i offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you havent gone to sleep yet.
16. Back off! you're standing in my aura!
17. Don't worry I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. some are dead.
20. Wait.... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic, and disorder....my work here is done.
22. Ambivialent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that the syle now?
24. Earth is full. GO HOME!
25. Awe, did i step on your poor little bitty ego.
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
30. Please don't interrupt me while im ignoring you.
 
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