Frozen skunk

RIDER

"Vanity is definitely my favorite sin"
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Frozen skunk A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her husband, 'It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?'

He says, 'OK, Get in the car with it.'

The wife says, 'Where shall I put it to get it warm?'

He says, 'Put it between your legs. It's nice and warm there.'

'But what about the smell?' said the wife.

'Just hold its little nose.'

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.
 

highsignal

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Last Evacutaion Drill

A fire alarm rang at 4 PM when almost all shift employees are in office (approx 5000). As usual entire office was evacuated within 3 mins & every employee gathered outside office. 10 mins passed..................................5 more mins passed.


Security Officer started Announcement: "Dear Employees - With melting heart I am making this announcement that for many of you it will be a last evacuation drill. Due to the recession we are laying off almost 50% of employees. While moving in if your Access card does not work, then you are among those laid off & all your belongings will be couriered to you tomorrow.
We followed this approach as we didn't want to fill email box size with layoff mails and good bye mails in thousands & also to avoid any fight inside office.
Hope you have nice career ahead. Please move in & try your luck".

-Managment
 

highsignal

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146
Anil Experience

Anil came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.


He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. 'Who the hell are you?' Demanded Anil, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom?'.

The mysterious Man answered 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm Yamraj'.

Anil was stunned 'You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away'.

Yamraj replied 'Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

Anil was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. 'This ain't so bad' he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said 'So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?'

It's not so bad' replies Anil, 'but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode'.

You're ovulating' explained the rooster, 'don't tell me you've never laid an egg before'.

'Never' replies Anil

'Well just relax and let it happen'

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.

An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!!!



The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg,

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he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting

Anil, wake up you drunken bastard, you're shitting on the bed'.
 
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