Weird but true

Laur

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A burglar twice tried to bust into the office of Judge Correale Stevens in Hazleton, Pa.

Nobody knows why, but the judge has a theory.

“Why would someone break into a court office? I don’t know, unless he wants to read how long he’s going to be in jail,’’ Stevens quipped.

***

Boobs in the News, Part I

A Canadian woman, shot allegedly by her ex-boyfriend, says she was saved by her breast implants.

She testified in a Toronto court that the bullets went through both implants before inflicting a minor arm wound.

She was so pleased with her bulletproof chest, she got two new implants.

***

Boobs in the News, Part II

A Polish man sued his ex for a refund, noting that he had spent $8,000 on her breast implants while they were married.

Lukasz Molovik’s lawyer said his client suffered “loss of use’’ of the 32DD boobs.

Molovik didn’t need legalese to explain his action.

“To be frank about it,’’ he said, “I didn’t spend all that money so some other man can ogle her boobs instead of me.’’

***

There were no ifs or ands about this beauty contest — just butts.

The women competing turned their backs on the judges, who chose Brazil’s most shapely rear end.

Carine Felizardo, 25, collected the top bottom prize of $2,500.

“I am very proud of my bumbum,’’ she said afterward. “I’m proud to represent Brazilian women.’’

***

Those zany folks in North Korea finally can boast of a tourist attraction.

They claim local archeologists have found a “lair’’ where unicorns once lived.

How did they figure out it was the home of the mythical animals?

No problem.

“A rectangular rock carved with the words ‘unicorn lair’ stands in front of the lair,’’ said the country’s news agency.
 
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